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Worst subject for a new Steven Berkoff play

  • North
  • South
  • an adaptation of The Importance of Being Ernest transposed to London
  • The Jeffrey Archer Story
  • a play surrounding the holocaust
  • romance
  • a collaboration with Andrew Lloyd Webber
  • a children's panto done in iambic verse/ East London slang
  • anything by Dickens
  • anything seriously political - or religious
  • the death of Diana
  • the William Hague story
  • the Stephen Lawrence murder
  • any subject can serve as pretext for skilled hands
  • fosse- click for source anything about tap dance / Fosse or the Vietnam war
  • anything about Hollywood
  • the Steven Hawking Story
  • the acting profession should not be tackled again
  • himself
  • I think he could probably pull off just about anything
  • Alan Bennett's villains
  • a comedy (as distinct from tragedy etc with comic scenes)
  • the Diana story
  • the worst subjects Berkoff could ever do, in my opinion, would also be the best, as he is the one man who can make the worst, unmentionable topics both humorous and shocking. After all what should society do? Hide the things they find intolerable? Surely if Berkoff has taught us anything it is that this behaviour is unacceptable
  • anything starring Janet Street Porter
  • Ken Livingstone's pigeon cull
  • homosexuality it so boring nowadays
  • I went to see Secret Love Life Of Ophelia and did not rate it at all. Leave Shakespeare to Shakespeare
  • kitchen sink drama
  • there are none
  • Berkoff´s Animals
  • Riverdance. The only way he gets away with the ego he has is through his unbelievable talent for telling stories. Otherwise, he's quite a poes!
  • A Doll's House - the best piece of theatre writing in existence! Fantastic man, fantastic plays. I did Sphinx for my A-Level Theatre Studies practical exam monologue and got top band for it! Berkoff is my hero, keep up the good work!
  • nothing, he should anything that he think is right. I think he's soo great
  • stories that people already know
  • anything Messiah related, or Hi De Hi, the total theatre version starring Ruth Madoc, Su Pollard and Paul Shane
  • nothing that includes a restaurant scene- overdone
  • 007... Bond meets Broadway
  • anything too close to the nations heart, he's liable to offend those not educated in Berkovian theatre
  • to completely avoid anything to do with the situation in the middle east
  • Buffy probably that buffy idea (see best subject above)
  • parlour room drama
  • Sept 11
  • anything that would damage his amazing career
  • anything that has been done before. Original theatre is leading the way and Berkoff is one of the true geniuses who can take a surreal story and make it into a play
  • dogs and their lives.  Why does Steven Berkoff create such manic scenes and what does it bring to the action?
  • Madonna
  • Free Willy
  • "I'll Get You, Braddock!" - the return of the Russian villain from 'Missing in Action 3.' Chuck Norris V. Steven Berkoff the rematch.  Living in Brighton I often see Steven in the Lanes. I long to creep up behind him and mutter the immortal lines!!!
  • Sept 11
  • a musical, especially not one involving household pets
  • a play about a boy that wakes up one morning and discovers that he has turned into a man!!!!
  • west again
  • Michael Jackson
  • war
  • any well known disasters such as deaths, September 11th etc. they could not possibly be funny. Anything naturalistic
  • anything about death
  • David Blaine and his experience in a glass box
  • any more American crap
  • Cabaret
  • Erm... a cheap romance
  • reality shows
  • the life of Margaret Thatcher
  • anything that is irrelevant and inappropriate (sorry it's vague!)
  • inside the mind of a soap actor
  • Tony Blair
  • any more stuff involving Judaism or Jesus; let's face it, man, Berkoff did two on Judaism and one on Jesus, he has effectively killed these particular subjects
  • a musical based on the Bay City Rollers
  • the psychological problems facing a virginal midget 60 year old
  • please don't do Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  I love West !!!!!!!!!!
  • Victorian themes
  • Sci-fi as the work is good enough without the need to explain why its so surreal. Also sci fi is a real common cheap way (imho) to approach surrealism
  • naturalism plays. not my cup of tea
  • a stage adaptation of Harry Potter
  • the life and lust of Anne Widdecombe
  • Julie Burchill a partnership with Julie Burchill
  • Big flippin Brother- please don't encourage Channel 4 to do another series!!
  • romance
  • never do a Panto
  • Bush America
  • pantomine
  • anything resembling a Lloyd Webber or a teen movie
  • physical construction of any thing. It should all be emotional
  • 7/7 London Bombings, Royal Family, anything 'Paris Hilton-esque'
  • cloning, suicide
  • Welsh independence -
  • anything about actors
  • anything that requires a performer to say 'slaaaaaaag' in a Cockney drawl
  • the acting profession - he has done it already


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